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I was 28 years old when I found out that I was pregnant for the third time , I had wanted to have another baby for a long time but was afraid to because of my blood pressure . I have chronic hypertension . I was on my birth control pills but I had been seeing a doctor about some major headaches and they put me on this medication called Depakote and after I had been taking it for a month { I had irritation on the left side of my brain} they decided to tell me that it would interfere with my birth control . Needless to say it was already too late !!! I found out the day before Thanksgiving . Soon after I got really sick with a cold and so I made my drs. appt . When my dr. checked me he said that I felt like I was only 3 weeks or so but I had been having symptoms longer than that . They did bloodwork and called later and my hcg level was pretty high so they scheduled me for an ultrasound . I was 7 weeks already but everything looked good so no worries , all my babies have been small , I have a son that is 11 years old , his name is Jordan and a daughter that is almost 9 years old , her name is Jacey . This was like starting all over again for us . My husband and I were both so happy and the kids and the rest of the family too . My dr. told me at my first visit that I was high risk and I would have to come in every 2 weeks at the beginning and then every week soon after , he put me on blood pressure meds. first thing and told me all kinds of tests I would have to have run . Everything was going pretty good and on February 14 , 2005 I found out I was having another little boy . I knew it all along .Around the time I turned about 28 weeks everything started going bad . I was on 6 blood pressure pills a day and the baby wasn't moving as much as he had been . Also my stomach , which was not all that big , stayed hard as a rock all the time and I started hurting in my upper stomach a lot . I started getting really worried about the way he had stopped moving , he was always really active before then and when he did move now it felt like little butterflies in my tummy , not like a baby at his gestation . I called my dr. and went in for a NST and the whole hour I was hooked up he never moved , not one time .His heart rate stayed about the same the whole time also instead of going up and down like usual . But they said it was ok and sent me home . By this time I was having ultrasounds every week to keep a check on his weight because he was really small and he barely even moved on ultrasound anymore . My drs. appt. was on Monday and they said it looked like his growth was moving up a little but they seem to forget it can be a pound off either way on ultrasound . I had no clue what I could do and what I shouldn't be doing so I went on as usual . I woke up the Thursday after the appt. at around 5:00 a.m. and I felt really dizzy headed and sick to my stomach , I just thought maybe I had a virus . It was the last day of school for my kids and they only had to go and pick up report cards . My younger cousin was staying with us at the time , thank goodness ! I made it to the restroom and got really sick . It was getting worse by this time but I still didn't have a clue to what was going on . But I couldn't get up off the floor and I kept passing in and out . after a long time I finally managed to get my cousins attention and told him to call someone . He freaked out and finally called my grandmother and she ran over here but my cousin was trying his best to get in the bathroom because I just couldn't stay awake long enough to open the door and really didn't have the energy to try . They finally got me out and rushed me to the hospital and as soon as I got there they knew what had happened , I had had a severe placental abruption and was bleeding to death . They rushed me straight to emergency cesarean , but they were just a few minutes too late ... They worked on Baby Jacob for about 15 minutes but there was nothing else they could do .He was born at 7:35 a.m. weighing 3 lbs. and 8 oz. { which he didn't actually weigh that much , it was fluid } and 16 ins. long .He had a head full of curly brown hair and looked just like his daddy and brother . We were all devastated ! I had all the symptoms I later found out and they did nothing . I was 31 weeks and 4 days , he passed just minutes before they got to him , he still had good coloring to him and he looked just like he was sleeping . He was born on May 26 , 2005 and we got to get him and hold him and cherish what little time we did have with him , thank goodness for that . The hospital gave me a gorgeous box with momentos in it and we took tons of pictures of him with the family . He was perfect! I had to have 3 units of blood and they let me leave finally on Saturday . I felt like I was leaving part of myself at that hospital that . We had his services that Sunday and it went really good {if you can call anything good in this situation} I was swollen like a balloon from all the fluids they had given me so it was extra hard on me but I made it . Sometimes I still don't even want to get out of the bed and face life but I have 2 more children to take care of and think of . My Baby Jacob is buried right down the road from me so I can go and see him anytime I want to , and I am so glad of that at least . He was named after my dad that got killed in a car accident when I was 4 years old . The pain of losing him never goes away but it gets easier to cope with . My Baby Jacob I will never forget you and neither will the rest of the family , I will love and miss you forever and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you !!!



@2006 Livy's Love Graphics, Custom Set for Little Jacob Harrison